in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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