finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize