Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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