literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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