What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
