Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I have post one night stand depression
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