i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
