so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
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I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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