i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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