I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
