Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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