he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Randomize
