and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize