That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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