using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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