if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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