yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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