Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Your shirt... Was in my pants
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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