Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize