Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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