i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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