New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize