I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
