shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
