You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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