My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
