It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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