your parents love me but you hate me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
