Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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