I just made out with a guy for $7.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
