he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
