Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
