But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
