Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
vagina is talking i cant
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
