We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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