He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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