and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
