Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
so much tequila, so little girl.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
