You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
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Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize