in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
