Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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