I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
