You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize