i would punch a child for taco bell
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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