Kiss
Puke
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
