It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
