So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
