Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
