His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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