And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
