How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
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I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
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It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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