doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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