We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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