so that wasnt chicken after all
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
