I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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