this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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