I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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