I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
