I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
her vagine was all disorganized.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Randomize
