Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
