I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
