hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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