I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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