Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
