i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
